Umlaut-er than Everyone Else

What is it with submissions coming in from rough-and-tumble landscapes? Music marooned amidst hot climates, songs stranded in hardscrabble environs? It would seem that while our recruiting stations in Western Sahara and Outer Mongolia are acting as the proverbial honey to the fly, our outposts in the temperate zones are consistently missing their quotas.

Which brings me to our latest edict.

Effective Immediately: Cancel funding to embassies in Vienna, Buenos Aires, and...uh...Pago Pago. If there isn't hardpan in the area, I don't want to hear about it. Really, as long as there's suffering, thirst, starvation, and guys dressed in black leather with dull glinting metal things that used to be shiny shining metal things, we're in good shape. (As a last-minute substitute, permafrost is acceptable.)

Our latest submission comes from Acting-Ensign Grosz, a new arrival in the Corps, and this one's a hearty dose of classic metal, sure to scare the Red Squad back into their caves and keep them from impurifying our precious bodily fluids.

Ace_of_Spades.mp3

Here's Lemmy's version.

You got your pancho in my villa.

Do yourself a favor and check out the best article I've read this week, in which they explain:

The idea for [Motörhead's] umlaut came from Lemmy, the group's lead singer, who said, "I only put it in there to look mean."

Face the PROG of Blue Öyster Cult!!! ...Amon the DÜÜL of Amon Düül II!!! ...Note the GRAMMATICAL INCONSISTENCIES of Mötley Crüe!!!
All this and more...at WïkïÞëdïä...

A semi-ironic retort

Sick of earnest, heartfelt song craft, Joe made a swift 180 just to rape the happy memory of Ryan's metal-head teen years by re-imagining the lead follow-up, but more famous single from these guys:


YES!
He even thought to include the blistering solo before the last chorus. He could have taken 'er easy and hammered the cowbell for "Slave to the Grind", he could have written love letters in the sand for "I Remember You", he could have ended up like this guy:



Let's all thank god that he didn't, and just enjoy the mp3 below. After all, now we can look forward to cut-rate versions of any number of self-indulgent, bloated, hair-metal tracks from the tapes in the center console of Ryan's old truck.




18_and_Life.mp3


18 and Life, 1989 version.