Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Umlaut-er than Everyone Else

What is it with submissions coming in from rough-and-tumble landscapes? Music marooned amidst hot climates, songs stranded in hardscrabble environs? It would seem that while our recruiting stations in Western Sahara and Outer Mongolia are acting as the proverbial honey to the fly, our outposts in the temperate zones are consistently missing their quotas.

Which brings me to our latest edict.

Effective Immediately: Cancel funding to embassies in Vienna, Buenos Aires, and...uh...Pago Pago. If there isn't hardpan in the area, I don't want to hear about it. Really, as long as there's suffering, thirst, starvation, and guys dressed in black leather with dull glinting metal things that used to be shiny shining metal things, we're in good shape. (As a last-minute substitute, permafrost is acceptable.)

Our latest submission comes from Acting-Ensign Grosz, a new arrival in the Corps, and this one's a hearty dose of classic metal, sure to scare the Red Squad back into their caves and keep them from impurifying our precious bodily fluids.


Here's Lemmy's version.

You got your pancho in my villa.

Do yourself a favor and check out the best article I've read this week, in which they explain:
The idea for [Motörhead's] umlaut came from Lemmy, the group's lead singer, who said, "I only put it in there to look mean."
Face the PROG of Blue Öyster Cult!!! ...Amon the DÜÜL of Amon Düül II!!! ...Note the GRAMMATICAL INCONSISTENCIES of Mötley Crüe!!!
All this and more...at WïkïÞëdïä...

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