Friday, August 29, 2008

Wakiki Boyle


After spending countless man-hours reviewing aerial photography, scrutinizing enemy movements and constructing a massive enigma machine/pipe organ hybrid to discover Boyle's hiding place, DemoWAR was outflanked by the Admiral himself. He managed to hack into the ISP and leave the following message in everyone's inbox like a trail of dirty, dirty breadcrumbs - covered in poison.

The deceptive subject line, (FellAhs, it r3ally w0rk2! MaKe h3r hAppy a11 n1ght l0ng!!!) went undetected for all of seventeen seconds. A pat on the back goes to our resident spam filter, Frank, for some great investigative work and general creepiness.*

Pardon the lateness of my reply, but I am enjoying my time here on [REDACTED] Island, soothing the savage beast with music's charms.
I have befriended the primitive pygmies here, called the "Timanak", who live a backwards, tribal sort of life. I feel that I must have stumbled into some kind of twilight zone, transported through time to this babylonian environ.

I hesitate to call the tribe civilized, but what they lack in propriety, they more than make up for in curiosity.
Just this morning, in fact, one of the young warrior-types was measuring my head with a length of string, showcasing it to his cohorts and hooting wildly. I trust that further observation will unlock many the varied secrets of the tribe, the island, and perhaps even my bamboo cage.

I must now sign off, as I have been invited to join in their repast this evening. No word yet on what dish will be served, but judging by the large bubbling cauldron, it should be quite a feast.

Enclosed, please find my latest submission. Resources are limited in this place, but you'd be amazed what a man can do with coconuts and catgut if he's got the mind.

Yours in confidence—mine otherwise,

What follows is a sequence of ones and zeroes, printed out across seven reams of paper. After chewing on it for awhile, our tube-powered monolith, "ENIAC's Revenge", spat this out:

Dylan's sprawling original lives here: Dylan_Dont_Think_Twice.mp3

*Dear Frank's wife: Don't be disappointed when it does not r3ally work2.

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